How Old Was I?

How old was I
When I learned the truth?
When was I told
That the only music
My life would hold
Would be the slow
Steady drum of a funeral dirge.

How old was I
When I learned the truth?
When was I told
That the only light
My life would hold
Would be the greasy flame
Of a guttering candle.

How old was I
When I learned the truth?
When was I told
That the only love
My life would hold
Would be a dangling carrot
Quickly ripped from sight.

How old was I
When I learned the truth?
When was I told
That my only happiness
Would be the certain knowledge
That I could end
my own existence.

How old was I
When I learned the truth?
When I discovered
That the only power
My life would hold
Was the clear understanding
That I would not survive.

How old was I
When I understood?
That truth was not absolute
And I could write
My own life to be
Everything I was ever told
It couldn't be.